Suicidal Step
by MysticalWeb
Summary: Something has driven Sakura to suicide. Kakashi had stopped her but she is already planning for her next attempt and she may succeed. What had happened to Sakura? Will anyone want to find out? Her death could mean an end to her, an end to that night…
1. Chapter 1

Just an idea I came up with one night

Just an idea I came up with one night. Fuzzy details as of yet but I'm sure they'll become clearer as the story develops. It's an AU and I hope you'll enjoy it!

* * *

Stifling a sob, Sakura glanced back at the place she called home for what would be the last time.

"Bye mum. Bye dad. I'm sorry." She whispered, sadness swimming in her eyes, before disappearing into the night.

She walked quickly in the silent night, pulling her jacket tighter around her as the bitter winds blew harshly around her. All was quiet in the town of Konoha tonight. The only source of noise came from her almost silent footsteps and the billowing wind. It was nights like this that brought disbelief to one's mind, after all, who would've thought that this peaceful town was the home to some of the world's most powerful ninjas?

The hoot of an owl nearby caused Sakura to jump. It was a night to be jumpy, a night where nervousness filled her mind, allowing the sneaky tendrils of doubt to sneak in.

_Is this the right decision? Is this the right thing to do?_

The questions replayed in her mind repeatedly, causing her to doubt her decision.

Then the painful memories of _that night _would come to mind, regurgitating the familiar feelings of anger, sadness, shame and fear. Tears prickled at the back of her eyes and she wiped them away angrily.

'No! I'm not going to waste any more tears on what happened.'

_No more tears._

Taking a deep breathe to calm herself down, she gradually slowed her heartbeat. But even then the feeling of sadness remained, leaving behind the feeling of emptiness.

Continuing her walk to her final destination, Sakura concentrated on the soothing rhythm of her footsteps, not allowing her mind to wander into the murky areas in her mind. She passed silently in the night, her presence unobserved by all. Her pink hair shined gently in the moonlight, bringing out the jade green colouring of her large luminous eyes filled with unshed tears.

Too soon, yet not soon enough, she reached her destination, the final place of her life. Looking around, she felt a twinge of sadness strike her heart and reflected itself in her eyes.

"Bye. I'll miss you." She whispered into the night, lips curved slightly in a heartbreaking smile. And, with a deep breath, took her first step into her demise.

The door creaked open slowly, age indicated by the loud noise created. Unused and uncared for, the old house had long been forgotten, visited only at times in which a dare caused one to face their greatest fears. Ever since the _accident_ so many years ago, the house had been left to its own devices, slowly breaking apart.

Sakura's hands trembled slightly as she walked towards the staircase, floorboards groaning with every step. She had been here only once before, motivated as a child by a dare. The house had appealed to her then and still does, even now in the midst of her fear. It had struck fear in people's hearts and its darkness had drawn her to it, caused her to constantly stand in front of the house, heart pounding in fear and excitement. It scared her, as much as it appealed to her, with its creaking floors and dark hallways. Even now she could feel her heart rate increase as adrenaline and fear pumped through her veins.

Brushing aside the spider webs, Sakura took tentative steps upstairs, counting the stairs out of habit. She paused at the thirteenth step, a vague memory reliving itself in her mind.

'_Don't step on the thirteenth step!'_

It was a superstition that her mum had taken seriously and warned her about repeatedly. Everyone always missed the thirteenth step, it was believed that _"stepping on the thirteenth step will result in endless bad luck. All plans will be ruined and all luck will turn to bad."_

'Funny the things you think about before you die.' Sakura thought with a slight smile before taking a step.

Onto the thirteenth step.

The creak of the step echoed off the walls, creating a maniacal laugh that sent hidden mice into a scurry. A black shiver ran down Sakura's spine as she continued upwards, stopping only when she reached the balcony of the third floor.

Taking a step into the open, she took a deep breath as the cool air hit her face. Sighing at the sight of the scenery, Sakura's eyes took in the sight, eyes committing the dreaminess of the lake, the mystery of the forest and the peacefulness of Konoha, all against the darkness of the night, into memory.

She walked to the rail, jacket ends fluttering in the breeze. Placing both hands in the rail, Sakura braced herself. Taking a deep breath, she lifted herself slightly, about to swing her legs over. A discreet cough behind her caused her to freeze, ceasing all movements as she spun around.

"Ka…Kakashi sensei!"

"Yo!"

"Um…" Sakura mumbled awkwardly.

'_How can he be acting so cool right now?'_

"Could you please move? You're obstructing my view." Kakashi said nonchalantly.

"Um… sure… In fact I was just leaving…" Sakura said as she turned around to leave, face flushing a deep red in shame.

"Sakura?"

"Y..Yeah?" Sakura said, turning at the sound of her name.

A gasp escaped her lips as she found herself bumping into Kakashi. Her hand flew to her racing heart. She hadn't heard him move, hadn't known he was so close.

Her eyes widened as his hand grasped her arm, holding it in a tight grip that prevented her escape. Sakura struggled automatically, refusing to be rendered useless, but her strength was nothing against his without chakra enhancement.

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to pry it out of you?"

"Tell you what sensei?" Sakura said sweetly, forcing her lips into a smile. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, knowing fully well that he could feel the speed of her pulse against his hand.

"Don't act dumb Sakura. It doesn't suit you. You know exactly what I'm talking about. There's only two types of people who would come here, those wanting to show others that they're tough enough and those seeking death. Seeing as how there's no one waiting for you outside, you must be of the latter."

Kakashi's grip tightened, causing a familiar sense of hopelessness to wash over Sakura. Immediately, the memories came to mind, forcing Sakura to relive the horrid moments. Tears sprang to her eyes.

"No! I promised myself. I'll never be as pathetic as I was that day. Never!"

Determination rushed through her vein as she concentrate, using Kakashi's closeness against him, sending her chakra into his body. She quickly attacked his muscles, knowing that it would cause him unbearable pain. Kakashi crumbled instantly, cursing himself for not predicting that she would use her amazing chakra control on him.

"I'm sorry but you forced me to." Sakura said softly as she stepped back.

"And you're wrong. There's a third type, those who just want to enjoy the scenery."

And with that, she turned and walked out of the building, leaving behind the crumpled form of Kakashi.

* * *

Well, that's the end of the chapter. I hoped you liked it. I would love to know what you think of it so send me a review!

Feel free to send me any ideas you may have as I am out of them! I am quite lost as to what I should write next….

_-MysticalWeb_


	2. Chapter 2

Well here's the long awaited chapter two. I've also rewritten Chapter One as I wasn't really happy with the way it was written. I think it's better now and would definitely recommend that everyone reread it

Apologies for taking so long. I have nothing to blame other than my laziness and lack of ideas. Hope you like it and I hope it doesn't disappoint!

* * *

'_Argh! Why did he have to choose this day to be there? I'm so stupid! I should've checked that there was nobody else there!'_ Sakura cursed herself as she sneaked into her house and began destroying all evidence of her plan tonight.

_All plans will be ruined and all luck will turn to bad._

Sakura groaned as the superstition came to mind.

'_Why did I choose tonight of all night to tempt fate? I should've known that it would come true for me.' _

Sakura ran a hand through her hair wearily. She wasn't sure what she was going to do now. She hadn't planned to survive this day. If her plans had gone according to plan, she would be lying dead at the abandoned mansion right now.

'_That stupid Kakashi! Why was he there anyway?'_

"Sakura? Is that you?" Sakura's mum called out cautiously.

"Yeah mum. I'm just getting a glass of water." Sakura replied, voice dripping with fake cheerfulness.

She waited for her mum to return to her room before starting for hers, knowing that her clothing was a dead giveaway to her plans. Her mum may not be a shinobi but she was still amazing at piecing pieces of a puzzle together.

Sakura lay in bed, staring at the white ceiling covered in the glow in the dark stars and moon she had placed there as a child. With a heavy sigh she closed her eyes, turning to the darkness for comfort.

'_Things had been so simple then. When did life get so complicated?'_

Sighing once again, Sakura gave in to sleep, and the nightmares that would follow soon after.

* * *

Sakura's heart began to race as she made her way to the hospital, an everyday routine that had not changed in many months now. She was sure that Kakashi would be somewhere around, ready to pounce on her like the determined cat he could be.

To her surprise, Sakura managed to get through the white doors of the hospital without meeting the silver haired shinobi that had been her sensei a long time ago. Sighing in relief, she began her rounds on the first floor.

'_What am I going to do now? I can't hide like this forever! I'm going to meet him somewhere one day. What should I tell him? He's not going to drop this, not when he's intrigued. Damn him! Why did he choose now to stop being a lazy ass? Arghhh!' _

"Sakura? Are you alright?" Shizune asked as she noticed the usually cheerful kunoichi staring angrily into space.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly fine." Sakura managed through gritted teeth.

"Well… if you say so" Shizune hesitated before walking away.

With a loud sigh, Sakura returned to her duties, keeping her emotions in check.

* * *

Used to the routine, Sakura left the hospital after her shift. It's been more than 5 months now since her last mission. Being the head of Konoha's hospital meant that she worked there everyday, heading surgeries and healing the sick and injured. Her hatred for the place was a personal secret, hidden from everyone else. So good at her work was she that no one knew her true feelings. Or perhaps they just didn't care. She was good at what she does and maybe that was all that mattered to them.

It's been so long now since she's actually looked forward to a day at the hospital. What used to be her passion was now just a duty, something she had to do. She no longer found joy from her work, regretting everyday her decision to become a medic nin.

But it was too late now to change, to do something else. Being a medic nin was her life now, she had no choice but to accept it.

"Sakura!"

Sakura turned at the sound of her name, lips curving instantly into a smile when she saw Naruto waving at her. Her smile dimmed when she noticed Kakashi in the group behind him. Walking over uncertainly, Sakura forced her lips into a bright smile.

"What are you all doing here?"

"Erm… Well Kakashi said he had something interested in tell me so I was waiting for him to arrive. You know how he's always late and all. Well anyway, so these guys saw me and hung around because they don't really have anything better to do and I guess they want to hear the story too…" Naruto answered, gesturing to Kiba and Akamaru, Shikamaru , Chouji and Lee.

"So what was so interesting anyway sensei?"

Kakashi scratched his head lazily.

"Well it might not be very interesting to you but I was something very strange yesterday while I was at the old abandoned building."

"Wait! You don't mean the one with the gh…ghosts… Do you?" Naruto said in fear, shaking uncontrollably at the thought of ghosts.

"Come on Naruto! You can't still really believe in ghosts!"

"Who cares about that Kiba?! Why were you there anyway Kakashi sensei?" Chouji asked, snacking on another bag of chips.

"I was just admiring the view. Well anyway, while I was there someone very interesti-"

"Kakashi!" Sakura snapped, causing all heads to turn her way.

"Yes Sakura?" Kakashi said nonchalantly, arching his visible brow.

"Can I speak with you for a moment please" she hissed.

"Why certainly" Kakashi replied pleasantly.

Everyone was staring at her now with rapid interest, they all knew something interesting was about to happen.

"Alone." Sakura gritted through clenched teeth.

Turning when she heard Kakashi get up, she led them to a nearby secluded alleyway far enough from the others that they would not be heard.

"What were you going to tell them?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business Sakura. If you want to hear the story so badly, you'll have to listen with the others."

"Look, what happened yesterday was nothing alright?"

"Sure didn't look like nothing to me. Would you like to explain the situation to me? Or can I return to the interesting tale I was about to tell?"

"You don't understand! You don't know anything about me!"

"How am I supposed to understand when you won't tell me what's wrong Sakura?"

"My life is none of your business! Why don't you just leave me alone and forget about what happened?!" Sakura stormed off angrily, bitter tears forming in her eyes.

"Trouble in paradise?" Shikamaru mumbled lazily as he watched Sakura stomped off.

Kakashi stared after her, unable to forget the pain in her eyes. Kakashi smashed his hand against the brick wall, then grimaced with the pain and stupidity as his bloodied knuckles swelled almost instantly.

"You can't run forever."

Keeping his bloodied hand in his pocket, Kakashi walked calmly back to the group.

"Trouble?" Shikamaru asked indolently.

Ignoring Shikamaru, Kakashi turned to leave.

"Well I just remembered something I had to do. Bye!"

"Hey wait sensei!" Naruto shouted, catching his attention.

"What about the story you were going to tell us? What was it that you saw at the abandoned building?"

Wiping his face of emotion, Kakashi said eerily, "A ghost."

"A…a…g…ghost?" Naruto stuttered, taking a few steps back.

It was amazing how deeply afraid of ghosts Naruto was considering the fact that he was a ninja.

"Gh..Ghost" he repeated in horror, knees beginning to shake as Kakashi walked away.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Tsunade asked uncertainly.

"Yes. I've made my decision. I want to go."

"Well alright. Let me find you someone to go with."

"No!"

Tsunade's head lifted sharply at the kunoichi's protest.

"Well… it's just that… it's been so long now since I've been on a mission. I really want to do this alone."

"Well alright. I'll see what I can do. I can't promise an interesting mission though."

"That's alright. I'll take anything."

If Tsunade thought Sakura's behaviour was strange, she didn't question it.

"Report back here in two hours and I'll give you your mission scroll."

"Thanks shishou!"

Tsunade waved her out before returning to her paperwork begrudgingly.

* * *

Well that's the end of chapter two. I hope it wasn't too disappointing for everyone. Sorry it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, I was at a lost for ideas but thought that it was time to post something for all my readers. Once again I would like to apologize for my lack of updates.

Don't ask me what will be happening next chapter as I myself do not know. I hope to post another chapter soon but I know that is unlikely.

I'm currently looking for a beta that doesn't mind my style of writing and can put up with my writers block. I also need someone that I can bounce ideas off. Message me if you know anyone like that or is willing to be my beta!

As always with all my stories, your comments brought me joy and inspired me to continue writing. There were times where I considered deleting this fanfic, to keep the ending to myself. So thanks to all those who reviewed, I deeply appreciated it. As always reviews are loved. Feel free to tell me any of your thoughts and ideas, god knows I don't have any!

_-MystcialWeb_


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